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EP. 4: 2023, GIRL, LET'S CHAT (CHRONIC PLANNING, PERFECTIONISM & COMPARISON) / SHOW NOTES



2023, girl, get in here! Take your shoes off, don't touch nothin' and ACT RIGHT. In this episode, I'm discussing my goal setting strategy for 2023 and how I plan to combat chronic planning, perfectionism, and comparison.


Follow Me on TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@iamnitaj

 

EPISODE TRANSCRIPT (unedited. what you hear is what you get.)

Hey, y'all. Welcome back to the show. And we made it. It is a new year. We made it through 2022. It is 2023. So happy New Year. It's a blessing that we made it, because you all know that last year was a little crazy. Well, honestly, the last couple of years were really crazy. So, yeah, we made it, right? It's a blessing.


But what prompted looked at me to make this episode today, which is the very first episode of 2023, is because while I was traveling around social media and these days, most of the time it's TikTok because Instagram just gets on my nerves. And Facebook, that's just that what I've noticed is that not a lot of people were posting these grand, super optimistic, super hopeful, super motivating, super inspiring messages going into the new year and including myself, because I didn't post anything either. But you know what I was thinking? I think that we are just like super nervous because we have been optimistic going into 20 20, 20 21, 20 22. And you all see what kind of craziness we live through, right, these last couple of years. So I think at this point, we were just kind of scared. So I haven't really seen a lot of these hopeful social media posts, and I can definitely understand why that is. So I wanted to share a couple of things that I'm going to be doing to kind of get myself through 2023 and hopefully have a successful year coming out of the funk that was 2020, 2021, and 2022. You feel me?


Okay, so first of all, before I get started, I want to let you guys know that I have finally started to figure out TikTok. So I've been on there as a spectator. I wasn't really posting very much. I just get on there as a kind of a method of escape, really, if I just want to get up there and laugh really quickly or share some videos with friends and family. But I haven't really been posting, but I have taken the time to sit down and try to figure out TikTok. And honestly, it's been pretty successful the last couple of weeks, I've surpassed 1000 followers. So shout out to the new TikTok family. But I would love if you guys can come over there and join me, because like I said, I'm probably not going to be super consistent on Facebook and Instagram because the algorithm over on those two platforms are terrible and very discouraging when it comes to people who try to create content. I don't have time for it. I'm coming out of a season of depression, anxiety. I'm trying to lessen the things that will cause me to spiral. So posting on those networks and not getting the results that I want, I don't really have time for that, right? So I would love for you guys to come join me over on TikTok. I will leave the link below so you guys can follow me. And if you do leave a comment on one of my videos, I will definitely show you some love and follow you back.


Okay, so let's get into today's episode. So one of the things that I sat down and I did well, first of all, the end of my 2022 was really nice. The Christmas holiday in the final week of 2022 was a blessing. It was really nice to spend time with the people I care about and just reflect on the year together and put some things into perspective. And it really helped me to see how blessed I was. Some things may not be going perfect in the world right now, and some things may not be going perfect in my life, but one thing I will say is I am so blessed to be surrounded by so many people who really genuinely care about me and want to see me succeed. And I do not take that for granted. So the last couple of weeks of the year were really, really they were nice. They were very, very nice, very peaceful. And one of the things that I did is I sat down and I actually wrote out some goals for 2023. So I don't know how long you've been following me. A lot of you have been following me for a few years. I have never been a New Year's resolution type of girl, and it's probably because of my debilitating anxiety and also the fact that I'm like an extreme perfectionist. So when I make these lofty goals for the year, and I put so much pressure on myself to accomplish these goals, most of which are probably not attainable, if we're being honest, right? I set myself up for failure. So I stopped being a resolution girl, like years ago, right? But this year I really sat down and I decided, you know what, I'm going to list out some things that are super important to me. And not only that, I'm going to create a strategic but simple plan to get to where I'm going, right?


And for me, that's super important because I am like a chronic planner, and I don't know if this resonates with anybody out there, but I will plan something to death and will be the most organized, and I will make file cabinets and documents, and I will plan meetings with friends and family. I will write down in multiple notebooks, and I will type out things and I will email things, and I will set up new accounts and set up LLCs and all sorts of things. And what I find is that I put all of the energy into planning and not enough energy and intention into actually executing. So this year, that's absolutely my goal. So what I decided to do is I decided to kind of flip that and make the planning process a little simpler and then put more energy into the execution.


So I sat down with someone I really care about in the last year I'm sorry, the last week of the year. And we created, like, a goals list and then a couple of steps broken down by each goal to help me to get to those goals, to accomplish those goals within the year, we put, like, time limits on it and we write a couple of things down of how you're going to accomplish this thing and things like that. So when it got broken down, it made my goals seem not so unattainable, and it helped me so, so much. It helped me to see things so much clearer. And the fact that I made that process a lot more simple, it made me more excited for the year. So I encourage you all to do that. I'm actually going to see if I can leave a couple of notes below this episode on how you could probably use the same method to plan out the next few months, maybe the next year or so, whatever your goals are, whether it's money, relationships, your job, your business, your health and wellness, any of that. So it really helped me to put some things into perspective and plan out my year accordingly. Right?


So, again, the thing for this year for me is intention and execution, okay? Because your girl will plan you all. I'm not even exaggerating. I could get my sister, my mom, my brothers, my dad on this podcast, and they will tell you if I have an idea and I'm excited about it, I will go to the store and I will buy binders and notebooks and planners and all sorts of things, and I will plan something for months. And by the time I get done with that planning process, nothing happens. I move on to the next thing I'm interested in. And it's pretty sad. It's a lot of time wasted. I don't know why I'm like that. I've been like that since I was a kid, I don't know. So, again, I'm not going to be that girl this year. I'm going to actually put the effort into being more intentional with what I want to do with my life for this year.


I will say one thing that I've been doing the last couple of months is writing things down rather than typing it in my phone or my tablet or my laptop. So I'm a big Google Drive girl. I use Evernote a lot with my notes. And I will say it's helpful to have all those things at your fingertips, like on your phone and laptop, whatever. But I find for me, it makes things more real when I write things down, right, because I have to make the extra effort to write things out and to look at it. And it's there like I've written it, so it's more real to me. So I went and got me like a really pretty planner. But I'm actually going to use it and not get I'm going to use it and not try to get overwhelmed because I will get a planner and write my whole life story in the planner. I'm not going to do that. So I'm taking it step by step, day by day. But I will say that writing your things down, writing your goals, writing your thoughts, having a journal, it really helps you to have a clear picture of things that you're trying to accomplish. So I really, really encourage you all to do that.


Now, another thing I'm trying to work on this year is not getting discouraged the last couple of years, and I think it might have been the pandemic, I don't know. But I've gotten really discouraged with a lot of things, especially when it comes to business and social media and comparing comparison to other entrepreneurs and where they are in their journey and where I am and where I'm lacking. It's been a struggle, right?


So this year, I'm kind of putting my blinders on and I'm just going to focus on me, what I want to do, what I want to accomplish, who I'm doing this for. And I'm going to put my plan into action and just keep it moving and clap for the people around me who are doing their thing and keep it moving. Because one thing that will slow you down in your process is when you're looking around and you're seeing everybody getting all these accomplishments and they're moving at a faster pace than you. It can be very discouraging, especially in the age of social media. And I think that took a toll on me for a while, and that's why I don't really post on social media anymore. It's not that I'm jealous or anything like that. It's just I feel so far behind, if that makes sense. And it's like I felt a little stuck and not sure where to start up again.


So I really want you guys to not focus on everyone around you unless you're congratulating them, unless you're encouraging them, unless you're trying to learn from them, but just state, of course, do your own thing, keep your goals and your why in front of you, and that's it. That's all you can really do, right?


But yeah, those are my struggles for 2022 and what I'm trying to change in 2023. Girl, I need you to come in here, act like you got some sense, act like you got some home training, because listen, these last few years have really, really done a number on a lot of us. So I need you to act right, okay? I need you to not be so crazy. I need you to chill. I need you to chill. All right?


So that is my fairly quick podcast into how I'm trying to be intentional for 2023. Hopefully you've gotten some nuggets again. Come follow me on TikTok Y'all I'm being productive over there a little bit, I guess. I do spend like, hours on TikTok just watching and I make posts like every few days, but still I'm on there, so you should follow me. So I'm going to leave all of my information below so you guys can follow me again. All the links, as always, will be below for the show, the website, how you can apply to be a guest, how you can advertise on the show, yeah, all of that. So I'm going to leave all those links below. So, yeah, I will check you out in the next episode. Again. Happy New Year. And I am rooting for all you all. Let's get intentional, let's be encouraged and let's execute. Y'all take care.

 

Here's a simple goal-setting and planning strategy that I have been using to get my life together:

  1. Write down 5-7 things that you want to achieve

  2. List these goals by order of importance

  3. Create a timeframe for accomplishing these goals

  4. Write 2-3 actions for each goal that will help you get results with your desired timeframe

  5. Using a planner, plan out your weeks by including these actions in your daily and weekly tasks

  6. Track your progress

 

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